Modern day Slavers - Meet the Directive

Today we have breaking news that will shock and outrage you!

Perhaps some of you have heard of a shadowy organization known as the Directive. But have you also heard that this organization EXPLOITS novas and uses them as slave labor for their hidden bases?

SLAVERY violates the Geneva convention, which makes it clearly unlawful. It has also long been condemned as evil by the Catholic Church. For example, in 1462 Pope Pious II declared slavery to be "magnum scelus" - (a great crime). This means that those who engage in slavery are defying church edict, making themselves the sinful enemies of god. Dear readers, I think we can all agree that slavery is a wicked act that should not be allowed to exist anywhere in the modern civilized world.

Let the Directive know that their crimes against humanity will no longer be tolerated. Write your congressmen, parliament, or other government officers. Organize local protests and marches against the Directive. Let them know, that their vile practices are not welcome in today's world!

And now we get to the heart of today's shocking story, interviews with actual escapees of the Directive's slavery. To protect them from further Directive oppression their true names will be supressed, we will refer to our first escapee from the Directive's clutches as Mr. A.

Dante: Mr. A, thank you for joining us. Please can you tell us about what the Directive had you do when you were imprisoned in their facility?
A: It's a little embarrassing... They made me poo.
Dante: They made you poo?
A: Yes... you see I poo fissionable materials.
Dante: My dear god, you mean you literally poop plutonium?
A: Yes, that's right. It was so embarassing and humiliating. But every day without fail they would force me to poo, and then harvest my poo.
Dante: This is outrageous! Were you compensated for your... poo in anyway shape or form or were you forced to do this against your free will?
A: Well I had to poop for them, or they wouldn't give me food to eat. We were kept imprisoned in cells. No I wasn't paid a single nickel for my poo.
Dante: That is just sad and wrong on so many levels. Rest assured my friend, you will be kept safe from the Directive, and there will be justice for this outrage against humanity!
A: *sobs* I didn't want to (help them) but I couldn't help it...
Dante: There you have it. The Directive - a monstrous organization that forces Novas to... poo. Will they stop at nothing?

I was most shocked and appalled after my interview with Mr. A. But what is more disturbing is the implications of the radioactive poo. The Directive had an endless daily source of plutonium in their hands. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you can use plutonium to make nuclear bombs. In other words, the Directive may now have a stockpile of Weapons of Mass Destruction!

So let's recap. There is a highly secretive organization out there that calls themselves the Directive. We have found out that they have enslaved Novas, used them against their wills, and to top it off they may be in possession of Weapons of Mass Destruction, nuclear warheads made from plutonium. We don't know for sure who they are, or what their purpose is, but we do know they can't be up to any good if they enslave people, force them to poo, and then create nuclear bombs with that poo!



Look at the picture to the right closely and think, that could be my hometown next. Who knows when or where the Directive could strike with their deadly nuclear arsenal?

Because the national security of the world is at stake, I strongly urge that the Directive be forced to allow neutral inspectors from the Vatican, the UN, and Utopia to search ALL Directive facilities for Weapons of Mass Destruction. Any Nukes found must immediately be confiscated, and if any more enslaved persons are found during these inspections, they must be freed as well!

Contact everyone you know. Urge your president or prime minister to act now! The Directive threat must be STOPPED! Nations of the world, if you are aware of a Directive Facility within your borders, it is imperative that you force them to allow these inspections. Not only do you not want your own citizens to end up irradiated and dying, but it would reflect badly on your nation if nuclear weapons were seen launched from YOUR geographical location! In fact it would likely be seen as an act of WAR.

But it doesn't end there folks. Our final interview is with a young teenage child who was recently freed from Directive slavery! We will refer to this boy as B for the purposes of the interview.

Dante: B, thank you for accepting this interview. I know the trauma must still be fresh with you but try to do your best. Please tell me a little about what the Directive put you through.
B: They told me that Novas were bad, that Novas were monsters that needed to be put away.
Dante: But you, yourself are a Nova. Did that confuse you?
B: Yes... but I dunno. They just told me the bad men had to be put away, locked up!
Dante: And where did they lock up these bad men?
B: Well some of them were put in cells next to mine. But the worst ones, they locked them up inside my head...
Dante: Inside your head?
B: Yes, their minds were prisoners inside my head.
Dante: And how did that make you feel?
B: It was awful. They kept yelling at me that they wanted out, and some of them made really nasty, scary threats to me. But I was told I could never let them go... *sob* I could never let the bad men out!
Dante: That's truly horrible. You poor child. And the Directive was forcing you to do this?
B: I was told, it was the right thing to do...
Dante: Well there you have it. The Directive - abusers of innocent children and modern day slavers. Where will the madness end?

You have now heard the true stories of the Directive's incarceration of innocent people, child abuse, and forced labor. Is there any doubt that the Directive is an evil organization that must be stopped now, before it is too late? There is none! Do you feel secure in your own home with the thought that such unlawful and immoral men may have Nuclear Weapons at their fingertips? Of course not! Should we wait in fear for the Directive to snatch away our innocent children? I daresay no!

So act now! Rise up and join the protests against the Directive. Urge your national governments to take action to prevent Nuclear Armageddon! Let's abolish slavery in the modern world once and for all, and along the way end the Deadly Threat to our very lives that the Directive poses!!

If the evil be hidden, let it be rooted out to see the Light of Day and the Judgment of the World's Courts. If the evil be in plain sight, strike it down before it can deal more harm to our precious world and to our innocent children!

I urge you again fellow citizens of the world, act now to bring down the Directive! Not only is it the RIGHT thing to do, it is the SMART thing to do!

"Ad pacem in Terris" - (To Peace on Earth)